#I love being included it makes me feel Important >:)

[sebstanaddict]

Code Daddy Supreme

Sebastian Stan x Reader Unhinged One Shot

Summary : Sebastian is reader's adorkable, chaotic yet cute boyfriend. One day when reader is struggling to fix broken code in her web application project, Sebastian offered to help but instead of helping he is making things worse.. or is he..?

A/N: This is just something I wrote out of a fever dream while being in a sleep deprived, stress induced state as I try to finish my web application project (yes, I don't just write fanfics, I write code full time XD) . It's based on my life as a web developer so excuse me if I include some codes here. But I promise they're human readable ;) Seb here is a funny, adorkable, chaotic mess of a boyfriend but we love him anyway ;) Enjoy and please vote and comment, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!

Warning: none at all, just an all out funny, unhinged and ridiculous story, somewhat like a sitcom XD

Word count: 944 words

Read more Sebastian and Bucky one shots here

---

It was supposed to be a quiet Sunday. Y/N was curled up on the couch, tackling a web development project that was due the next day. She was in the zone—until, of course, the code rebelled.  

“WHY?!” she shouted at her laptop, yanking her headphones off. “Why won’t you just WORK?”  

From the other room, Sebastian burst in wearing pajama pants, no shirt, and wielding a spatula like a sword. “Who dares disturb my pancake zen?”  

“This stupid project!” Y/N growled, gesturing wildly at her laptop. “Every time I try to fix one thing, another error pops up! It’s like Whack-a-Mole, but with coding and existential dread!”  

Sebastian leaned casually against the couch. “Want me to fix it?”  

She blinked at him. “No.”  

“Yes.”  

“No, Seb. The last time you ‘helped,’ my laptop shut down and played a MIDI version of “Highway to Hell” on repeat.”  

“And did it sound amazing?” he asked, grinning.  

“That’s not the point!”  

But it was too late—Sebastian had already plopped down beside her, cracking his knuckles with the bravado of someone who doesn’t know what an IDE is but thinks they could totally rebuild Google.  

“Alright,” he said. “Time for me to hack the planet.”  

Y/N groaned. “Seb, no..”  

“Seb, YES!”

He grabbed her laptop and began typing with the unhinged enthusiasm of a mad scientist who’d just discovered how to turn broccoli into candy. His first move? Replacing all her variable names with things like `CaptainFixThis`, `ErrorWho?`, and `TotallyNotABug`.  

“Sebastian,” she said, rubbing her temples. “What are you doing?”  

“Rebranding,” he said, as if it were obvious.  

“You can’t just rename everything and hope for the best!”  

“Oh, can’t I?” he shot back, now aggressively typing.  

He added emojis to every line of code:  

```  

function saveTheDay() { 💪🔥  

    console.log("Sebastian is here to fix it! 😎✨");  

    return true;  

}  

```  

“SEBASTIAN. WHY ARE THERE EMOJIS IN MY CODE?”  

“Because the code needs to feel appreciated,” he said, completely serious, adding even more lines:

```

// You’re doing amazing, sweetie  

function runCode() {  

    console.log("You’re the best, code! You can do it!");  

}  

```

“Seb, stop typing compliments!” Y/N shrieked.

“This is important!” he shouted back. “The code needs to feel supported!”

She couldn’t help but facepalm.

At one point, he opened a separate file titled `BackupPlan` and wrote this:  

```  

if (everythingFails) {  

    summonTheAvengers();  

}  

```  

“Seb, that’s not even real code!”  

“It is now,” he said, smirking like he’d just reinvented the wheel.  

He then proceeded to write what he called "the ultimate fix." : 

```  

while(true) {  

    console.log("Just vibe and it’ll work.");  

    everythingIsFine = true;  

}  

```  

“That’s an infinite loop!” Y/N screeched.  

“Exactly,” he said. “Infinite solutions for infinite problems.”  

She lunged for the laptop, but he was too quick. He held the laptop above his head while somehow still typing.

“SEBASTIAN, GIVE IT BACK!”  

“NOT UNTIL I FINISH!” he yelled, putting the laptop on his lap and turned his back on her. “TRUST THE CHAOS!”  

“I definitely do NOT trust the chaos!” she protested as she peeked over his shoulder, trying to see what he was doing all the while her stomach was filled with dread.

Then came the pièce de résistance. He opened Google, typed “how to fix broken code,” ignored all the actual solutions, and clicked on a forum post titled: “Sacrifice to the Debugging Gods.”

“Uh… what are you doing?” she asked nervously.  

“Something foolproof,” he said, grabbing a nearby candle.  

“Seb, no—”  

But he was already chanting nonsense in a deep, dramatic voice. “O GREAT SPIRIT OF JAVASCRIPT.. I OFFER THIS SACRED WAX STICK IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR MERCY!”  

Before she could stop him, he blew out the candle, slammed her laptop shut, and whispered, “It is done.”  

“Sebastian, I SWEAR TO—”  

“Wait for it.”  

With a flourish, he reopened the laptop and hit “run.”

And then… everything broke.  

Her once-polished website now looked like a clown vomited onto a computer screen. Bright neon colors, text bouncing like a screensaver from the ‘90s, and a random image of Sebastian flexing in a Captain America hoodie plastered across the footer.  

“What…What the actual.. WHAT DID YOU DO?!”  

“Relax,” he said, unbothered. “This is just step one.”  

“Step one of what?!”  

“Recalibrating the space-time continuum,” he said, completely deadpan.  

At that exact moment, her apartment lights flickered, her phone started playing the “Avengers” theme unprompted, and—somehow—her toaster beeped, despite not being plugged in.  

“Sebastian,” she whispered, wide-eyed, “I think you actually broke reality.”  

He looked smug. “Told you I was good.”  

Before she could yell, her laptop chimed cheerfully. The browser opened, and her website was… perfect. No bugs, no errors. Everything worked.  

She stared at the screen. Then at Sebastian. Then back at the screen. “HOW?!”  

He shrugged, grabbing the spatula again. “Sometimes, babe, you just have to trust the chaos.”  

“But—Seb—this makes NO SENSE!”  

“Neither does Bucky surviving a fall off a mountain, but here we are,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to finish my pancakes. You’re welcome.”  

She sat there, frozen, as her laptop hummed happily like nothing had happened. The lights stopped flickering, the toaster went silent, and the “Avengers” theme faded into nothingness.  

She stared after him, still holding the now-functional laptop. “I live with an actual lunatic.”  

From the kitchen, Sebastian’s voice rang out. “You live with a genius! Love you!”  

For the rest of the day, she tried to figure out Sebastian’s chaotic “fix.” Meanwhile, he strutted around the apartment wearing sunglasses and calling himself “Code Daddy Supreme.”  

The kicker? She later discovered the reason the code worked was because Sebastian had accidentally deleted an entire block of problematic logic while trying to format a smiley face.  

As for the weird flickering of lights, the “Avengers” theme playing from her phone and the beep from her toaster? Well, not everything can be explained and she thought maybe, just maybe, Sebastian really did recalibrate the space-time continuum.

[emmawithtwoms]

Potions Dungeon

@wolfstarmicrofic day 26 -831 words

Sirius Black had had many stupid ideas in his life: putting fairy dust in his mother’s tea, telling Snape about the secret passageway under the Whomping Willow, “accidentally” throwing a bludger at Slughorn during the last quidditch match… 

But choosing Remus Lupin as his potions partner during the lesson on Amortentia must have been the dumbest idea that had ever crossed his mind. 

To be fair, when they chose partners he did not know that they were going to brew love potions, but still, Morgana must have really hated him. 

All around him he could smell the scent of old books, earl grey tea, the Forbidden forest and fucking cinnamon. It was driving him insane. 

Padfoot could feel his palms sweating, his face blushing and his heart rushing, and why did nobody tell him of the arousing effect the vapors from Amortentia had? 

So he made a plan: he would not talk, think about or even look at Moony for the whole lesson. He would concentrate only on the potion, checking that the colour was right, that it was being turned the right amount of times, in the right direction and making sure that the right amount of ingredients was poured at the right moment and in the right way. Although it was Moony doing it, so it was hard ignoring his presence, his scent, and his hands… Merlin his hands, his beautiful, big, callous, scarred hands NO! He would not indulge in those thoughts. 

Sirius shook his head trying to remove everything regarding Remus and his hands from his head. Sadly, the other boy was not making it easy for Padfoot to ignore him. 

“Are you alright, Pads? You’ve been awfully quiet.” 

“Yeah, yeah, just… lost in my head a bit” 

Sirius kept pointedly not looking at Moony. The smell from all the Amortentia in the room was so strong and so enveloping that he was sure that if he had looked at Remus, he would have confessed eternal love. 

Remus placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. 

“Is it because of your brother? If you need anything I am here, you know? Mulciber could “accidentally” drop a bit too much fairy dust and cause an explosion, accidentally ending the lesson earlier, you know?” 

Oh that beautiful, beautiful man, Sirius could melt because of him.

“No, I’m fine, really. I just can’t wait for this stupid lesson to be over. I fucking hate love potions.” 

“Oh. Yeah, I get it. And smelling this intensely the person you are in love with is very… distracting.”

Sirius finally lifted his gaze to look at Remus.

Right. The person you are in love with… he didn’t think about it, but surely Remus would smell someone too in the potion. Someone else. 

“Do you smell someone in particular, Moony?”

Please don’t, for the love of Merlin

“I… Yes I do.”

Those words stabbed Sirius right in the guts.

“Well, they must be very special to have you looking like that.”

Remus had a sad smile on his lips, like he resigned himself, like he felt hopeless. 

“Yes, he is.”

HE?

“I know he will never like me back, but I just can’t help it. He’s too important, too special. Even if he sometimes cannot see it, he is one of the best people I know.” 

“Don’t say that, Moons, everybody would be lucky to have you.” 

“Oh come on, you are my best friend, you have to say that.” 

“No, I’m serious, pun not intended. You are amazing Moony. You are kind, smart, brave, strong, funny and an evil mastermind. And honestly, you are rather beautiful, so if he can’t see it, sorry but he’s just not worth your time.” 

Remus stared at him in disbelief. The hand that was still on his shoulder tightened, his eyes glistened and he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, and Sirius, just for a second, indulged in the fantasy of a heartwarming love confession. 

But they were rudely interrupted by Slughorn, who announced the end of the lesson, and all the students hurried to bring samples of their potions to his desk, including Moony. 

While leaving the potions dungeon to head to dinner, though, Remus called Sirius back, leaving them behind from the group. 

“Pads, thank you for what you said earlier, you… you are really special.” 

Remus was not looking at him in the eyes and picking at his cuticles. 

“Moons, that was just the truth. Stop doing that with your fingers, you’ll hurt your hands.”

And without thinking about it, he took Remus’ hand in his and smiled at him, and he just… didn’t let go. Not until they reached the Great Hall, and not while they were eating, still with their pinkies intertwined during dinner, and not while climbing the stairs back to their common room. 

They both knew that they should have talked about it, but for now, for now it was fine just like that. 

[brummiereader]

@mischievouslittlecreature yeh, that definitely felt more like a business deal than anything else 😳😂!

I gotta say, I'm kinda relieved it did feel and read like that. Rules will be put in place and arrangements made, but everyone, EVERYONE *looks to Lizzie 👀, knows where they stand. Are we all clear on that, Tommy? Lucy? LIZZIE??...ok good 😌 😂.

“As we’ve already discussed to exhaustion.” His jaw ticked. “I won’t do it.” I love how he adamantly refuses to agree to her plan at first. And I honestly think that it's not just him trying to convince Lucy of his love for her and her importance to him, but he genuinely doesn't want to do this!

Why was she even arguing for this so bloody hard? She should be happy that he’d instantly dismissed the suggestion the very first time that she brought it up. Hell, she was, from a purely selfish standpoint. But Lucy...😭. Urgh I felt for her in this part. Because in a way I fee like this is her way of being the better person, showing Tommy how she's not affected by the whole mess and that it won't affect her. She's putting on this strong stance on the matter but we know she's crumbling inside. And Tommy's constant refusal is his response to those feelings he knows she has. It's like an unspoken conversation between them about their insecurities, but they both know what has to be done 😩.

“That’s one hell of a way to propose to someone.” Suck it up Lizzie, it's that or nothing 😂!

“Technically you aren’t being proposed to until we know that you agree to our…conditions,” at least he's not sugar coating it. I gotta admit, I'm all for this business like attitude to this faux marriage. He doesn't want to give Lizzie false hope. He's learnt that she can be easily mislead into thinking otherwise, so he's definitely treading carefully, making sure everything is understood and clear.

Lucy struggled to meet her gaze when it shifted periodically over to her, guilt roiling through her like a tempestuous storm. She’d never been able to shake the feeling that if she were not around, Tommy and Lizzie may have actually stood a chance together. And she was pretty certain that Lizzie thought the same exact thing. Stop, nope nope nope! I won't have her beat herself up over this! And plus, we all know how they didn't stand a chance in the series. So...😌.

“I wish it was you,” he mumbled sorrowfully against her throat, and for a dreadful moment Lucy actually thought that she might start to cry. I mean, this nearly made me cry too 😭💔. God, he loves her so much. It's gonna be a real hard read if you have their wedding included in this series and anymore mentions of their honeymoon. I mean, what will Lizzie expect on their wedding night...on their honeymoon? I'm already anticipating Lucy's insecurities over these two moments, and I really hope Tommy stands his ground on both.

Looking forward to catching up with the next chapter as soon as I can, because I'm already falling behind and i hate being out of the loop 😭. Amazing as always, hun 😍!

Part 22: This Misery We've Made

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: Approval numbers and public perception of Tommy's personal life force him and Lucy to face some painful realities.

Word Count: 3,519

Notes: Not really sure if I'm entirely happy with this chapter, but I've been fiddling with it for so long and I just need to move on. Hope you all still like it! Warnings for depictions of insecurity and references to past abuse and polyamory.

Previous Part • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 1: Too Late

“No.”

Lucy sighed, looking pleadingly into Tommy’s glacial eyes as they hardened over with stubbornness. 

“Tommy, love, we both know it would fix all of these problems…”

“As we’ve already discussed to exhaustion.” His jaw ticked. “I won’t do it.”

“Sweetheart,” she broke eye contact with him to look down at the papers settled in her lap. Her hands fiddled with her rings, gaze glued  to the infernal numbers emblazoned upon the reports, as if staring at them hard enough would cause them to shift and change. “It’s not getting any better. If anything, it’s only going to get worse.”

“The constituents don’t seem to care,” he huffed, reaching into his pocket for his cigarette case. “Considering that they elected me.”

She frowned. “Because we bribed your way in. And besides, I’m not sure if a lot of them even knew then. You weren’t exactly shouting your marital status and Ruby’s parentage from the rooftops.” Not that he’d hid it, per say. He just avoided discussing it during the campaign and while in settings related to his work. “And they might not care now, but what about when your political rivals start harping about it in the press? They’re already using it to try to shut you out of certain things. Not to mention that arsehole from Oxford who keeps using it to try to cut down all your arguments in the house.”

“Fucking ridiculous,” Tommy shook his head, lighting his cigarette and releasing a puff of smoke from his lips up towards the ceiling.

They were seated in his office in the House of Commons, the big wooden double doors that led out into the workroom that she shared with the other secretary, Adam, closed. Not that they needed to be. Adam had already gone home for the evening, as had most of the other MPs and their staff. No one would be interrupting them. It was late, nothing but darkness and a flickering streetlight visible out the window. 

She was still getting used to spending her days working in the offices of the House of Commons rather than the betting shop or the office in Birmingham. While the general decor and design of the building was not all that dissimilar–outside of just being bigger–there was something distinctively different about this place. A stuffiness and sense of propriety that served as a thin veil for the egos and superiority that radiated from so many of the men who sauntered through its halls. It was a bit of a shock to go from Small Heath, where just about everyone knew her name and she was decidedly near the top of the food chain as far as both authority and respect goes, to here where she was lucky if the MP just next door could even remember her name. In these offices, she was not the Red Demon, or even Lucy Winters. Here she was just Thomas Shelby’s Assistant. And was treated as such. 

It wasn’t all bad, of course. She still got to spend most of her days at Tommy’s side, and the work was not that different from what she’d been doing for him before. 

“I agree, but that’s the way that things are, love.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “And your constituents do care. That’s what these numbers are all about,” she nodded to the report in her lap. “More and more of them indicated that while they’re happy with your performance and policies, they’re troubled by your conduct regarding your personal life.” She held out the papers, and he took them with a reluctant sigh, pulling his glasses from his pocket and sliding them onto his nose so he could look them over himself. 

“Doing…doing this,” Lucy swallowed, unable to bring herself to utter the thing that, ever since Ruby’s birth–and certainly ever since he was elected–hovered threateningly over them. The guillotine teetering precariously above their heads. “It would help improve your standing with the more traditional and family focused members of your constituents. And might even open up some more doors for you here with the conservative MPs. God knows we already have a hard enough time working with them.” Bunch of racist, classist dickheads was what they were. All too eager to look down their nose at the man who had clawed his way from the bowels of Small Heath’s dirty streets to the halls of power. They already had enough reasons to attempt to shut Tommy out, they really didn’t need to be giving them anymore ammunition. 

Tommy met her eyes, and she saw a crack appear in his resolve. Deep down, they both knew that she was right. This needed to be done. 

Even if it was going to break both their hearts. 

Tommy closed his eyes, head tilting up as he released another stream of smoke from his lips. His brow pinched with stress, the skin around his temples tightening. 

She forced herself to be strong. “You know just as well as I do how important image is to the people we’re now surrounded by. And to the people you’ve been elected to serve. We can’t just…shrug off what other people think of our personal lives anymore. Presenting the image of a proper family will solve nearly all the current problems outlined in those numbers.” 

His lips pursed. He was not seated behind his desk, but rather in the chair next to hers in front of it, one leg crossed over the other. One of his hands lifted to touch the side of his face, thumb moving across his lips while he examined her shrewdly and listened to her argument.

“We can’t ignore this forever. It has the potential to ruin everything you’ve worked so hard for.” She looked him hard in the eye, beseeching him to understand. He still just stared at her, clearly fighting against the knowledge that he knew she was right. “There’s only one clear solution that I can see that fixes pretty much all problems at once.”

How many times had they discussed this? Too many to count. And he always shot the idea down instantaneously. When Polly tried to push it harder on one of their more recent meetings, he’d nearly ripped her head off. 

“Look, you know what my suggestion for a solution is. If you have any others, I’m happy to hear them.” She was suddenly in dire need of a cigarette. Sensing her need, Tommy silently held out the one clutched between his fingers towards her. She took it with a noticeably unsteady hand, bringing it gratefully to her lips. Tommy watched all of her movements closely, knuckles pressed up against his lips, frown still firmly in place. Picking up the report of his approval numbers, his eyes skimmed over the front page once more before tossing it onto his desk, removing his glasses and putting them back in his pocket.

The silence while he mulled over her words seemed to stretch on forever, only interrupted by the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the mantle. Lucy had to fight back the desire to fill it with more near nonsensical babbling. 

Why was she even arguing for this so bloody hard? She should be happy that he’d instantly dismissed the suggestion the very first time that she brought it up. Hell, she was, from a purely selfish standpoint.

Tommy’s hand dropped from where it was resting against his lips to take one of hers, thumb running along her knuckles. 

“I don’t want to marry Lizzie,” he said softly.

She met his gaze sadly. “I know.” I don’t want you to marry her either. But she knew if she told him that, she would never manage to convince him to go through with it. He’d refuse forever all on account of her feelings, even if it meant that he could lose everything he’d worked so hard for.  

The idea that he could lose it all and it would be her fault made her feel sick with guilt.

“But we’re being backed into a corner here, love,” she chose her words carefully. “Being unmarried with an illegitimate child makes some of your constituents think that you don’t value families. If you want to stop your approval numbers from dipping, and even have a shot at reelection in a few years…”

“I haven’t even thought about reelection, yet.”

She gave him a look that was both stern and fond in equal measure. “Now, we both know that isn’t true.”

His lips quirked upwards slightly, eyes warming at how well she knew him. But when he scooted closer to her, sadness quickly leaked back into his expression, lips turning downwards.

“I don’t love her.”

“I know,” she repeated, feeling even worse at the spark of relief that statement brought her. Poor Lizzie. 

He shot her a look of deep, unending regret, brushing some hair out of her face. Her eyes fluttered at the warm press of his palm against her cheek when he cupped it. “I promised you that I wouldn’t marry her,” he whispered. 

“You said that you didn’t plan to,” she corrected, recalling the conversation when he first informed her of Lizzie’s pregnancy. The things he’d murmured to her whilst holding her on the floor of their bedroom while she cried. “Plans can change.”

“I am not leaving you,” there was zero room for argument in his voice, jaw shifting stubbornly. 

“Lizzie might not agree to marry you if you don’t.”

Tommy shook his head. “It’ll be a marriage of convenience only. You and me still being able to be together is non-negotiable. I’m not budging on that.”

She smiled a little in spite of herself at his devotion, leaning her face deeper into his palm. “It feels terribly unfair to her.”

“She can always say no if she really can’t handle it. We’ll be clear about what it’ll all entail, so she doesn’t get the wrong idea about any of it meaning something between me and her. Besides, she’s been warmer towards you lately.”

That was true. Though who knew how long that would actually last.

Scooting his chair closer to hers, Tommy leaned forward, holding her face with both hands, forehead resting against hers. 

“Are you sure you’re okay with it?” he asked urgently. Lucy swallowed hard. The thought of watching him stand up at an altar and make vows and promises to another woman, of having to live under the same roof as Lizzie and share him with her for the rest of their lives…

It burned harshly in her chest, cracks forming in her already fragile heart. 

But she could live with it. It was a sacrifice she was willing to make if it meant that Tommy would not lose all he’d worked so extremely hard to achieve. 

Maybe…maybe it actually wouldn’t be all that bad. He was right that Lizzie had been kinder and more amicable towards her as of late. Perhaps she would even be agreeable to all three of them sharing a bed from time to time, like they used to. And it would be nice to have Ruby in the same house as them so they could see her more. She and Charlie could be raised as proper siblings. 

“Yes,” she said, unknowingly sealing both their fates. “So long as we don’t have to break up.”

“I won’t ever let that happen,” Tommy promised. She leaned in closer to him, hands resting on his forearms. Tommy gave her a little tug. “Come here,” drawing her from her chair, he pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she murmured into his chest, arms winding around his neck. “I hate to say ‘I told you so,’ but…”

He snorted, lightly pinching her hip. “Yeah, yeah.” Lips ghosting across her temple, he silently urged her face back enough so that he could kiss her softly. “I mean it. I won’t let us be torn apart.”

A small smile pulled at her lips, his reassurance like a band-aid over her fracturing heart while he kissed her again. 

∗ ∗ ∗

“Well,” Lizzie said, adjusting her fingers around her cigarette, straightening in her chair. Even sitting down, she looked tall, the way in which she sat with her spine entirely straight only adding to the effect. She looked between Tommy and Lucy seated before her at the other side of the round table in front of the fireplace in Tommy’s Birmingham office. “That’s one hell of a way to propose to someone.”

Lucy winced a little at the underlayer of bitterness in Lizzie’s voice, looking down at her hands in shame.

“Technically you aren’t being proposed to until we know that you agree to our…conditions,” Tommy was much less phased by Lizzie’s reaction, puffing on his cigarette whilst eyeing her from around the vase of deep red roses on the table between them. 

“I’m pretty sure that I know what those are already,” Lizzie huffed, shifting in her seat, briefly glancing at the fire crackling away in the hearth. She looked back at them, and gave a little gesture with the hand holding her cigarette for him to continue. “But let’s hear them anyway.” 

Tommy adjusted himself in his seat, leaning forward with one of his arms resting on the table. When he spoke, his voice had taken on the commanding edge that Lucy had heard him use when giving orders to his men or family members. 

“After we are married, you and Ruby will come to live at Arrow House. You will enjoy all luxuries that the home and the title as my wife offers. All we expect is that you help take care of the children and manage things that have to do with the household. You can continue to hold a position on the company’s board, if you’d like. But most importantly,” he glanced over at Lucy, holding her gaze steadfastly before turning back to Lizzie, “Lucy and I will still get to be together.”

The area around Lizzie’s lips tightened slightly. “So you aren’t offering me a real marriage, but only one of convenience.”

To his credit, Tommy did not flinch away from her stern, accusing gaze. “Yes; that’s exactly what I’m offering you.” 

Lizzie leaned back into her chair, nursing at her cigarette as she contemplated. Lucy struggled to meet her gaze when it shifted periodically over to her, guilt roiling through her like a tempestuous storm. She’d never been able to shake the feeling that if she were not around, Tommy and Lizzie may have actually stood a chance together. And she was pretty certain that Lizzie thought the same exact thing. 

“I want you to promise that you will be discreet,” Lizzie finally said very slowly. “I will not be publicly humiliated by my husband openly fucking another woman.”

“Of course,” Lucy nodded. They already had toned down most displays of physical affection whilst in public, presenting instead as simply colleagues who happened to be good friends. Gestures of romance were saved for behind closed doors. It was not unlike it was prior to Grace’s death, when the three of them had to practice restraint to avoid a scandal. “And we’re willing to make accommodations to make sure you and Ruby are comfortable.”

“Within reason,” Tommy interjected quickly. 

“I want a honeymoon,” Lizzie said decisively. “A real one. With just you and me.” Her eyes wavered from Tommy to fix on Lucy, then darted back to him. Lucy thought she caught a glimpse of pleading in her face. 

The mere idea of them going on a romantic vacation together without her left insecurity brewing beneath her skin, but Lucy forced herself to ignore it. Considering what they were asking of her, it felt like it was the least that they could do. “Okay.”

Tommy shot her a glance. “We’ll have to talk about it,” he modified. 

Lizzie nodded. “Of course.” The clock on the mantle chimed. “I have to head home. I promised the nanny I’d be back by half past five. I can come by this weekend to work out more of the details if you’d like.”

“Yes, that would be good. You have a ride home?” Tommy asked, both he and Lucy standing after Lizzie stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray and rose to her feet. 

“Yes, Skudboat offered to drop me off.”

“Right. We’ll see you this weekend, then.”

“Give Ruby a kiss from us,” Lucy requested timidly. Lizzie shot her a smile that actually seemed half genuine. 

“I will.”

They bid her goodbye, Lucy waiting until the door swung shut behind her before sinking exhaustedly back into her chair. She was struck at how transactional the whole exchange had been. Like ironing out a business deal rather than arranging a marriage.  

The floorboards creaked under Tommy’s heavy footsteps as he approached her. Reaching out, he rubbed a hand up and down on her upper arm, bending to kiss her forehead. 

“Are you alright?”

She stuffed the guilt bubbling up within her back down, locking it away in a far corner of her mind. “Yeah.”

“I can get out of the honeymoon if it makes you uncomfortable. Or insist that you come along.”

“It’s fine,” she probably said it too quickly to be convincing. “It’s the least that we can do for her, considering.”

“I don’t like the idea of going without you.”

“Me neither,” she admittedly, finally looking up to meet his concerned blue orbs. “But it’s just one week.” She knew him better than to expect that he’d be willing to take more than that off work. “We’ll live.”

He stroked her face tenderly, brow furrowing slightly. “You don’t have to give her everything that she wants. I know that you feel bad, even though you really shouldn’t, but…” he trailed off, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, thumb brushing down her cheek. “If she pushes too far, if she’s unkind to you, or asks for something you aren’t comfortable with, all you have to do is tell me, and I’ll take care of it, alright?”

Nodding, she turned her face to kiss the center of his palm. “Thank you,” covering his hand with hers, she smiled weakly. “Congratulations on your engagement.”

“Ugh,” he made a face as though he’d just been told he was sentenced to be executed, rather than engaged to be married, and dropped his head forward until it was resting against her shoulder. Lucy wrapped her arms around him, burrowing her face into his hair, breathing in the scent of his soap and cologne. “I wish it was you,” he mumbled sorrowfully against her throat, and for a dreadful moment Lucy actually thought that she might start to cry. 

“I know.” And though she did not say it–for fear that if she did, he would call the whole damn thing off and throw his reputation and all professional prospects in the bin–they both knew the words circulating within her head:

Me too.  

When he first brought up the topic of marriage, all the way back in 1918, before Grace had even walked into their lives, she had told him that it was not something she was sure that she wanted. She was still living with the trauma of being previously engaged to a monster who hurt and abused her, and the only example of marriage she’d had was the loveless, horrific mess that was her parents. It was something he’d respected, unconcernedly promising that marriage or no marriage, he would still love her forever.

After Grace died, the topic had passed briefly every once in a while across her mind. With times changing and modern perspectives growing in popularity, it was no longer a necessity that she stop working if she were married. And with the slow passage of time, the idea of marriage no longer seemed to her like a cage to be bound and gagged within. She knew that Tommy would never expect her to change simply because he placed a ring on her finger. 

But she didn’t bring it up to him, both of them were still aching too terribly from Grace’s death. It was too soon. For them personally, for Charlie, and for either of their reputations. 

And then the vendetta had happened. And for a bit of fun they took Lizzie down to the canal for a fuck like they so often did before Grace stepped into their lives. 

If only she hadn’t still been so messed up on the topic the first time that he asked. If only she’d expressed her changing feelings on the matter with him before Lizzie got pregnant. Maybe things would be different. 

She could not say anything about it now. If she did, he would abandon this plan that was poised to solve so many problems for him. Not to mention that marrying her instead of Lizzie would create a whole new set of issues for him to deal with, some with the potential to wreck everything he’d accomplished.

It was too late.  

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Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

[welcometogrouchland]

I miss them so bad (Dick and Damian)

[spacedlexi]

it honestly frustrates me when i see people reduce the ericsons cast down to "just some teens in the woods" acting like theyre no different than any other group of lone teenagers from other existing properties and treating them like an overused trope

it is sooo important to acknowledge the "troubled youth" aspect of the whole equation. theyre not just some random teens in the woods clem stumbles across. these kids were abandoned by their families for their various "difficulties" and fucked up by The System before the outbreak even began. and then once zombies started roaming the streets their familes never came back for them and the adults that were in charge of taking care of them just left them there to rot in that old boarding school (except for ms martin who was like their lee 🥺 the only person who ever saw them as the scared traumatized kids they were and died protecting them)

the whole aspect of them already being fucked up by the adults that controlled their lives is like.....kind of important when discussing the whole "delta is stealing kids to force them to fight in a war they have no real part in and want nothing to do with" aspect of the season. and its important when comparing them to clem and her journey of also suffering at the hands of the adults around her forcing her to become self reliant. AND its important when discussing the "just trying to build a safe home (and future) worth fighting for in this world that wants them dead" aspect of the season as well

these kids were forced to come together to survive. and a Lot of them didnt... theyre the only family they have left and you can tell that even when they argue with each other theyre still a close knit group who looks out for each other. theyre a Real family before clem even gets there (and its why what really happened with the twins and brody and marlon hits them all so especially hard)

all of this is what REALLY makes ericsons such a perfect home for clem. its a Real community of her True peers. theyre not Just teens. they mightve had a layer of safety clem never had by at least having walls to keep them safe. and having the benefit of the school being hard to find. its the only reason theyre still alive when clem shows up. but theyre also some of the only people who can Truly understand where clem and aj are coming from. and its why it hurts so much when they vote to kick them out. but its also partially why she merges back into the fold so easily when she returns. plus the fact that shes Really the only one who has any idea what shes doing. shes their rock and she makes them feel safe because underneath it all theyre still just those scared traumatized kids ("EVERYONE is scared, clem..." vi was Definitely including herself in that 'everyone'), and on some level, so is clem

they saved clementines life. and she saved theirs. "the school was supposed to help them with their trauma, now they help each other" its about the LOVE the COMMUNITY the SUPPORT!!!! and thats the shit that makes good zombie media honestly 👌

[lesbiannova]

Tags by @soulpoweredvocalist:

#genuinely dont get why people dont like the ending #not to be Mean but just because YOU would stay in new wirral doesnt mean that all the partner characters #with their lives their family and their friends back home #would also make that choice #also its foreshadowed throughout the game (with every partner character mentioning that youll have to say goodbye if you find a way home) #so it doesnt come out of nowhere #the game gives you plenty of time to prepare #and after you see the ending for the first time you never have to see it again anyways! #you can live out your dreams of living in this fun fantasy world with your new friends despite the ending #so why even be upset about it? #i get feeling emotional (the intended response) but outright rejecting the ending is wild to me #anyways thats just my two cents

Excellently said and I 100% agree.

I have multiple theories for why Cassette Beasts' ending got negative reactions from parts of the player base, with a major one being poor media literacy, including not paying enough attention to the characters' dialogue, set-up and foreshadowing that the party will likely part ways when they find a way to leave New Wirral, and conflating their emotions with the quality of writing by assuming because an ending makes them sad the ending is bad and poorly-written, which is a wrong mindset to engage with stories.

I believe another big reason is that pop culture often romanticises the idea of giving up everything for one person, typically your One True (Romantic) Love, and video games in general tend to treat the player character as the most important person in the game's world, and in games with companion systems, making companions' relationships revolved around the player character, hence some players get shocked when in Cassette Beasts, the partners actually chose their own homes over the player character, even if romanced, instead of a generic happy-ever-after, staying-together-no-matter-what ending.

Frankly, I find it refreshing when a video game allows companion characters to have their own lives and relationships outside the player character, and I applaud Cassette beasts for doing that. Expecting Cassette Beasts to be just like anything familiar in pop culture is literally the number one mistake to make when playing Cassette Beasts, and that is a major aspect of what makes Cassette Beasts great.

(Cross-posting my Bluesky thread praising the writing of Cassette Beasts that began with quote posting and responding to Jay Baylis, the writer and artist of Cassette Beasts. By the way, Jay liked my post that quote posted him!)

The writing is one of the most underrated aspects of Cassette Beasts IMHO. I love stories that are not afraid to explore mature topics, but are still ultimately optimistic. This is one of many, many reasons Cassette Beasts is my ultimate favourite video game.

I love how the partner characters not only have distinct personalities with their own character arcs, but also how many of their arcs are also intertwined with the main quest.

I also like the ending and IMO it is a good example of how a story can conclude in a bittersweet note but still make sense to the story, both in terms of plot set-up and the themes and messages.

Players who dislike the ending may be a vocal minority, but they're vocal enough that I was compelled to write a post on Tumblr in defence of the ending. I will defend Cassette Beasts' ending to the grave.

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

every once in a while i remember that scott’s life series+empires characters being aro is not actually a hc that has occurred to most people and it really does throw me for a loop. there are very few characters where my personal hcs about their queerness so heavily affect how i analyze them but scott being aro really is a massive contributor to how i see his character and i see takes about him i agree w/ relatively frequently so i. forgot. this is at least partially because i have curated my dash well and rarely go into the tags but that is not the point.

[violetwolfraven]

God I hate Pinterest and I really need to stop reading the comments on literally any post on there

I just saw someone straight up say they’re afraid that show fans who haven’t read the books are going to take over and dominate the fandom and they’re afraid that their memories of the books are going to get overridden by memories of the show because of new show fans, and that’s a good reason to gatekeep.

Like okay, just say you’re a party pooper and go home.

Yeah this is about Percy Jackson but I’m not gonna tag it as that cause I don’t wanna get hunted for sport

[pathofreason]

"if you think movies make you bright then go on ig it seems to be working greatly for you" is such a genuinely disgusting and braindead take when movies like 12 Angry Men, Funny Games, The Lighthouse even, etc exist to name some incredibly basic picks exist. Or in general film directors such as for example Stanley Kubrick or Agnès Varda, again very well known and you don't have to dig through trash or waste a lot of time to find their stuff if you don't have the time to do so. Genuinely mind-blowing take especially coming from someone who, like myself, loves literature (mainly a lot of classics) and philosophy, even linguistics. Comfortably saying shit like that is crazy idgaf if it's on a random blog on Tumblr LOL.

What braindead money hungry idiots have been doing in the name of the art that is cinema (Netflix trash as you said, or Mubi bullshit or any director and team not affiliated with those one of my favourite examples being Luca Guadagnino) doesn't take away from the fact that there's people out there, including actors directors writers and so on who are dead, that actually give a shit about what they're making and what they're presenting to the world. One could also assume that if someone says they read books that they're a brainless pig because some of the most popular writers currently are Colleen Hoover and the like, forgive me for not being able to provide actual specific authors but I'm not in these types of braindead circles I'm just unfortunately aware of the popularity of a lack of basic common sense and critical thinking skills amongst this "type" of "story" and the consumers. But that wouldn't be right necessarily, since that type of book is not the only that has ever existed.

Anon's wording is insanely childish and they obviously don't understand that self care (including taking care of your body, this is hard to understand for some people apparently) and enjoying the moment is important for anyone not just women although they're right that women shouldn't promote being a brainless doll (the implications of "I'm just a girl" bullshit) although it doesn't apply to this blog in particular you're not promoting misogyny you're just feminine online and anon is mad about it LMAO.

But what pissed me off way more than anon being an idiot is the implication that watching movies equals you watch (only or primarily) Netflix esque cash grabs that actually require you to turn your brain off, because if you use common sense and have actual critical thinking skills you'd be watching something else, and even if that is not the primary conclusion then the only other option would be that ALL films are some sort of anti-intellectual propaganda.

I'm assuming that you're not some sort of "well actually movies suck and books are much better" or whatever idiot since I remember scrolling past a film recommendations post of yours a few days back, so I don't understand the wording and implications of the answer to the ask/this post. Regardless, this isn't some "personal attack" or whatever against you in particular, the wording (and with that, implications) just pissed me off insanely because I know many people genuinely think that way about cinema as a whole and while like I explained I do agree to an extent about specific things, that mindset is an extreme that is factually wrong and generally just stupid and braindead as hell LMAO.

Anyways like I said, once again, I'm not beefing with you nor am I asking for clarification or anything I'm just using your post (or well that one statement) to expand on a thought of mine. Feel free to ignore this, or add something, or give me film and literature recs of any kind/genre if you feel like it lol, I love asking people that

What's graceful about being ignorant? If you're a self care blog then shouldn't reading, watching movies and educating yourself be a priority? Not just typing "eat veggies!! light a candle!!" with the tag "#coquette" at the bottom. You have impressionable followers and promoting the "I'm just a girl 🎀..." mentality isn't graceful it's ignorant and fueling more misogyny into the world. But I guess it's all about looking cute and making everything an aesthetic huh

you clearly know nothing about me, just because I don't waste my time watching tv doesn't mean I'm not educated lmao

but hey if you think Netflix and movies make you bright, then go on ig, it seems to be working GREATLY for you <3

if you look a little closer, you will see that my content (not just here but also on my other platforms) is packed with posts on literature, philosophy, and classics. I also regularly publish both poetry and essays, AND I also study classics and Latin, so please stfu 🎀

the most misogynistic thing here is you assuming that just because I'm girly and pretty, I have to be dumb lol

[foxmulderautism]

my beautiful autistic mind is so picky and annoying sometimes because my biggest struggle with writing at the moment is the fact i dont like how the name bobby looks written out but i like how it sounds and also know that is his name it literally cannot be anything else. but every time i look at the letters i'm like.......

[allseeinggoggles]

This is a good list, so I thought I could try it myself. Here's my picks:

GUYS

OLIMAR - You've gotta have this guy. He's the main character of the Pikmin series, which has seen a surge of popularity recently. Nintendo it putting Pikmin on the level of Animal Crossing and even Kirby now.

OLIMAR - The Pikmin series is Miyamoto's pet project, they deserve a second rep.

OLIMAR - His name is an anagram of Mario, but with an L, therefore making him more important than Mario.

OLIMAR - Though Olimar himself didn't appear in the Wii to Wii U Data Transfer, his pikmin did. Therefore Olimar serves as a Wii/Wii U rep.

OLIMAR - Olimar does appear in New Play Control! Pikmin and New Play Control! Pikmin 2, both of which were on the Wii.

OLIMAR - I think you could play the New Play Control! games on the Wii U too.

OLIMAR - Gotta get that Alarmo rep in there too.

OLIMAR - He has a family man vibe that I think is sorely lacking in Ultimate's roster. Many will feel represented by this little man.

OLIMAR, OLIMAR, OLIMAR - People who do not feel represented by Olimar will feel represented by his pikmin, which follow him into battle.

OLIMAR, OLIMAR - One minor change, he gets a jetpack from Hey Pikmin.

Barely missed the cut: Mario, Diddy Kong, Luigi, Starfy, Cloud, Sora, Little Mac.

GIRLS

OLIMAR - Didn't you know Olimar is genderfluid? Cause she is.

OLIMAR, OLIMAR, OLIMAR - Bonus fact, Olimar is also bisexual. She loves her wife very much.

OLIMAR - This Olimar is from Pikmin 1 specifically.

OLIMAR - Olimar would be an excellent pick for new players. She has a very simple and easy to understand moveset.

OLIMAR - Olimar loves studying nature, and has the most in-depth Piklopedia entries. It stands to reason she could summon various beasties to fight for her.

OLIMAR - Self explanatory.

OLIMAR - It's weird that she doesn't get rock pikmin in any form in Ultimate. We're changing that, as well as adding Ice, Glow, and Bulbmin.

OLIMAR - One of the most iconic fighters from Melee, it only makes sense to bring her back.

MECHANICA (ARMS) - Gotta get a heavyweight female fighter in there!

OLIMAR, OLIMAR - It might be a little strange doubling up on the Pikmin reps, but it's a pretty big franchise. Some pikmin made it into Super Nintendo World, and I imagine tickets there are very expensive. Thankfully Olimar is loaded thanks to Pikmin 4 selling so much.

OLIMAR - Admittedly this one is a me pick.

Barely missed the cut: Ashley (WarioWare), Ashley Graham, Ashley (Until Dawn), Ashley Banks, Luigi

CREATURES AND CHARACTERS, TYPICALLY PLAYER, OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER (like Pikachu or the Animal Crossing Villager)

OLIMAR - Olimar is in fact a player character, like Animal Crossing Villager.

OLIMAR - I could have placed them in the guys section but my hand slipped.

OLIMAR/LOUIE - They switch out like Pyra/Mythra, only from a game I've played. And less gross.

OLIMAR/LOUIE - They're actually just as gross as Pyra/Mythra, but not for fanservice reasons.

OLIMAR, OLIMAR, OLIMAR - Pokemon is one of the most famous franchises on Earth. Here's three Olimars.

OLIMAR - Remember to hydrate.

OLIMAR - There's tons of moveset potential from Bingo Battle in Pikmin 3. You could even pull some tech from Dandori Missions!

OLIMAR/LOUIE - They fight together like the Ice Climbers, only Louie doesn't attack or move at all.

OLIMAR - It's crazy how we have five (technically six!) Smash Bros games and still don't have Olimar in there at all! Let's fix that.

OLIMAR - For his Final Smash, he brings out Moss.

OLIMAR - This is the most controversial pick in the list. To better represent the unique gameplay of the Pikmin series, I want Olimar to play exactly like from his games, which includes a Z axis, linear health bar, not being thrown when hit, up to 100 pikmin on the field at once, and the jetpack from Hey Pikmin.

Barely missed the cut: No one. There were no other options in all of gaming.

As you can tell, my list is perfect and therefore needs no notes. THank you

A SEMI-REASONABLE 40 CHARACTER SMASH ROSTER

An exercise in indulgence and egoism, and posted as the same.

THE RULES:

1. Characters shall be semi-reasonable! Beatoriche I love you but this needs to be a roster composed of characters who could conceivably actually make it into Smash. They should be from video games, and ideally ones people care about.

2. Characters shall be gender balanced! I separated my picks into four categories: GUYS, GIRLS, and CREATURES AND CHARACTERS, TYPICALLY PLAYER, OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER (like Pikachu or the Animal Crossing Villager). the number of GUYS shall be EQUAL TO OR LESSER THAN the number of GIRLS. I set this restriction on myself and so should you.

3. Characters shall be 40 of them! but you could tell that from the title.

GUYS

MARIO - You have to have this guy. also like it's been like 20+ years since Sunshine can we not give him something other than FLUDD?

DONKEY KONG, LUIGI, NESS, BOWSER, FOX, WARIO - You also have to have these guys. I cut Captain Falcon, as we already had Fox as a Smash original character.

LINK - Someday we will be able to put Link in the CHARACTERS OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER list, but not yet.

KING DEDEDE - Sakurai made this so his faves get a little extra attention. I claim that same right.

SNAKE - Updated for MGSV, naturally.

SONIC (Palette Swap: SHADOW) - I really really don't care about these guys. I kind of actively hate them actually. but they deserve to be here, even if all their moves are the same (turning into a ball and the ball flies at you).

CLOUD - The iconic Final Fantasy pretty boy. Would I prefer Lightning? yeah. but this is the semi-realistic roster.

PHOENIX WRIGHT - I know, preaching to the crowd here. This guy is a tumblr darling behind only his boyfriend Miles Edgeworth. But they've put him in fighting games before! And he totally has a moveset, right? Presenting his badge as a jab, shooting OBJECTION and TAKE THAT! (HOLD IT! is a grab!), submitting paperwork and random items hoping and praying that they'll be accepted as evidence...

Barely missed the cut: Sans Undertale, Sekiro, Shulk, Solaire, Paper Mario, Sora.

GIRLS

SAMUS - You have to have this girl.

PEACH/DAISY - Ideally Daisy would get Luigified (this is the very technical term for when a Smash character starts out as a clone and then gets differentiated) as the Mario Sports Game Representation. But that probably wouldn't happen. Peach is fine. kind of

ZELDA (Breath of the Wild/Tears Of The Kingdom) - The opposite of the Smash Ultimate dynamic. Smash Lscholar Link is old-school Link; Zelda is newer Zelda. Like in Hyrule Warriors she fights using runes on her magic ipad/wii u pad/nintendo switch game console. Bombs, Ice Block, Ultrahand - and the ability to Recall all of them, sending them flying backwards along their trajectories when the attack is reinput. An evil zoner but let's be honest: she already is. Maybe she has a "take a picture" that can stun?

ISABELLE, ROSALINA - both need reworks. Isabelle in particular has the potential to be a Kirby for new players - but hitting with her is so hard that most try her for a round and play Toon Link instead.

BAYONETTA - No notes.

HORNET (Hollow Knight: Silksong) - Clear moveset, fan favorite, zero questions.

D.VA (Overwatch and, fine, Overwatch 2) - The single most popular Overwatch character by far, and a much needed female heavyweight character. Would translate pretty well to Smash as a pushy zippy tank-type.

EDELGARD VON HRESVELG (Fire Emblem: Three Houses/Three Hopes) - big smashy axe, avowed militant atheist, Vriska, Fire Emblem rep. Smash Lsclr's Ike. Slow but dangerous, with surprising range, much like Byleth; unlike Byleth she is an actual character. also her axe twirl has to be a taunt. Also she's canonically bisexual. which would make her the second bisexual smash character after Snake, and the third in my heart after Cloud Strife (Byleth isn't real).

REIMU HAKUREI (Touhou) - Iconic rep from possibly the single most important indie game series.

CHUN LI (STREET FIGHTER) - Honestly surprised they put Ryu in Smash. I feel like if you asked anybody to name a Street Fighter character Chun Li would be first?

UNDYNE (Undertale) - Fine. Susie (Deltarune) is also acceptable.

VI or JINX or SOME LEAGUE OF LEGENDS GIRL (LoL) - as with Sonic I don't care for these but they have undeniably earned their places. Arcane was better than it should have been and I really hope Mel Medarda survives into s2.

SABER (Fate/Stay Night) - It's Saber! I know this seems like a meme pick but I really do think she deserves to be here.

Barely missed the cut: Karlach or Shadowheart, The Silent, Arle Nadja, Vriska

CREATURES AND CHARACTERS, TYPICALLY PLAYER, OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER (like Pikachu or the Animal Crossing Villager)

PIKACHU - You have to have this thing. Brand recognition on par with Santa Claus or Jesus. A creature for sure, even if its tail indicates biological gender.

KIRBY - This is technically a Guy but in practice this is a creature. also I have one less Guy than Girl so I could put him there, but I chose not to.

YOSHI/BIRDO - Put a trans woman in Smash. She's just a Yoshi reskin and that's fine.

MARTH/LUCINA - The other Fire Emblem rep. Why does Awakening get like three characters? may have to make Marth a bit less floaty to make this work but they really should consolidate these two.

POKEMON TRAINER (Charizard, Ivysaur, Squirtle) - good on nintendo for making it possible to play pokemon trainer as a guy or girl.

POKEMON TRAINER 2 (Gengar, Gardevoir, Lucario) - We have so many pokemon and here's three more. swap out one of your choice for Jigglypuff or Mewtwo or Mimikyu or Greninja or whatever, as long as your substitution isn't from Kanto. This pokemon trainer is a bit more of a tryhard, and wears darker clothing. also their pokemon are category balanced: one is a guy, one is a girl, and one is a creature.

INKLING - Kind of a creature and definitely not of either cardinal gender. these kids squids are nonbinary. A good addition to smash; may they goop and bloop for many games to come.

Wii FIT TRAINER - Mix in Wii Sports and Ring Fit and whatever else.

ANIMAL CROSSING VILLAGER/MINECRAFT STEVE AND ALEX/PACMAN AND MS PACMAN - CHARACTERS OF EITHER CARDINAL GENDER

NOAH AND MIO XENOBLADE (XENOBLADE 3) - Like Pyra and Mythra but less gross. Mio has faster short range chakram attacks and mobility; Noah has slower harder-hitting moves.

THE ASSASSIN (Assassin's Creed) - Snake represents Solid, Naked, and Venom; why can't The Assassin be Altair, Ezio, and whoever else?

Barely missed the cut: Duck Hunt, Toad/Toadette.

if you got mad at me about removing your favorite character reply and I'll tell you why I took them out. probably because I didn't care about them.

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

Mm because I've been feeling kinda sucky about my art for the last week nice little self-improvement post over the past ehh 5 months or so?

Under a cut because it's literally just some art I've already posted from the last 5 months (literally the first finished drawing of LMK I did far back. It's literally only been 5 months why does it feel like a year. Geeze.) so I can see tasty improvement but uhh yeah

[love-songs-for-emma]

me and my friends going back and forth between writing each other essays on whatever site/app we're talking thru & then not replying for a long while bc we're Overwhelmed and mentally ill & then finally responding with essays ourselves,, thus restarting the cycle for the other person

[followerofmercy]

Networking/Knowing A Guy: A Guide

This is the autism website. Now, as an extension of the power of love and friendship, there are few things more useful than Knowing A Guy. Knowing A Guy means you have a support network. Knowing a plumber, or a tax accountant, or just that one dude that's really fucking good at finding the information you need when you're really overwhelmed, can be the difference between being able to pay rent and having a fun party with friends to fix your shit.

How does one end up Knowing A Guy? It's a skill you can develop called Networking and it is one of the foundations of society. Unfortunately making those connections with people is fucking hard and nobody makes a tutorial for it. So, here you go:

The golden rule is you scratch my back and I scratch yours

It is necessary for survival to seek out useful people

Great news! Everyone is useful in some form or fashion - including you! When given the opportunity to learn about someone, do it! Extroversion does not come naturally to some people and that's okay. Just take whatever falls in your lap.

Types of usefulness: trade skills, connections of their own, personality you jive with, pleasant to talk to, niche interest in shared hobby, security - the list is pretty much endless. I know a guy that lives in the metro area - no job, no major hobbies, inoffensively annoying to me personally, kinda ignorant, not attractive to me, but you know what? He knows how the fuck to get around the city by foot. My rural-raised ass APPRECIATES the guide.

Remember important information: general personality, background, skillset, likes and dislikes. You can find this information by making smalltalk about their life. There is no such thing as pointless conversation. (Yes, even the annoying smalltalk)

The more people you know, the higher the likelihood that one of them will be useful in a given situation - or will know someone who is.

It is overwhelming. In a given clique/community/workspace/whatever, there is A Guy Who Knows The Other Guys. This Guy is a shortcut. Find them. They're often elderly, extroverted, a little bit annoying, a secretary or in some otherwise forward-facing position. Look for people that are gossipy/talk about other people a lot but not in negative ways. If they constantly talk shit, they'll talk shit about you too. They're still useful but be careful with the information you share

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.*

If you have low self esteem, you're going to feel like you're using people. You're not. That's the devil talking. People like feeling valued and the connections you are making are the threads holding community together. Recognize people for their talents. It's only a problem when you're taking advantage of people

So: don't feel scummy about it. You're an animal. You have to claw out your right to survive and people will respect you more for it.

Luckily mutualism is the name of the game in the animal kingdom. Offer something back. The foundation of a Know A Guy relationship is Mutual Benefit

Sometimes that Mutual Benefit is just spreading news of the The Guy far and wide. My plumber friend is my actual friend and I love her to death, but I'm maintaining our backscratch relationship by pimping out her plumbing business to anyone that'll listen

Food is a good Mutual Benefit. People across cultures for all of human history have bonded over food. I have good success asking people for a favor and then offering to buy them lunch in return **

General compensation is also good. Offer a service in return and always do your best to offer financial compensation as appropriate. Having your plumber friend take a look at your drain: doable with a case of beer. Having your plumber friend redo the pipes in your entire house? You need to pay for that.

Being transactional is not necessarily a bad thing. I would advise against keeping an itemized list of things owed, but fish don't seek out cleaner shrimp just because they enjoy their company. Everyone gets something

Unfortunately being extroverted and generally personable is a huge benefit here, but that's the value of the Guy That Knows A Guy. There's someone out there that has consolidated All The Guys so you don't have to be the local expert. Always remember nobody can do everything and you don't need to master every skill

* This is the foundation of a functioning community. I have many acquaintances that I find incredibly annoying. They include doctors, welders, artists, social workers, lawyers, construction crew and random fuckers at the grocery store. I do not hang out with them. I do not have to in order to maintain a civil Know A Guy relationship. I can drop them useful tidbits and fuck right off so I don't have to spend any more time than necessary with them

** People may assume romantic intent. Be prepared for that. I generally denote that it's a friendly/work lunch by calling them bro at some point if they're my age. Otherwise my general demeanor is sufficient to show that I do this with everyone

Source: personal experience, mother's teachings of crime, booth vending and poverty

[steviescrystals]

my tags on the post i just reblogged got me thinking so here’s my current stream of consciousness

[theblehthatbloos]

Whenever I say the girlies love me on Tumblr I also am talking about the hairrest men you could imagine, like just a werewolf of a person. My range has no specificity and I canonically set off geiger counters.